Not the story

I had an epiphany the other morning.

Wait… that’s not where the story starts. I’ve had a feeling for a couple of years that my story needs to be heard, but I know there are parts that aren’t ready for daylight and some parts just don’t need to be aired. And yet, I’ve had this gnawing nag to write, to blog, to post somewhere, anywhere…

Most of you know I’m soundly middle-aged and yet don’t feel as though I am AARP card ready. (But cutting my cell phone bill in half may push me over the edge…) Age is relative and while that’s part of the story, it’s not THE STORY.

I could keep going with what’s NOT the story, because it all got me here, but for once I’m going to try to cut to the chase and tell you what hit me as I transitioned from a hard, fast, hot, humid run to waiting for the utility company while baking cookies for my co-workers.

The blogging, podcast, social media world seems to need my not so unique but not clearly categorized voice. Not all women are moms. Some of us are not moms by choice, some are not moms yet, and some desperately want to be moms. I love my mom friends, and there’s a lot we share, but I am not the only one who is constantly reminded that while motherhood is a special calling and a huge part of many women’s lives, it is not what makes us female.

Just as moms appreciate an “I gave birth and didn’t quite get the same body back” perspective, I don’t want to CONSTANTLY read about how flattering the pants are to “mom belly.” I have flab because I had an enlarged uterus for YEARS and didn’t keep working my abs (or anything else), but it’s not a mom belly and never will be. Likewise, I have friends who have given birth more than once and have covetable abs.

My workouts aren’t limited by postpartum things or scheduled around the family’s agenda. I have my own, not unique but not Mom-centric challenges. ALL women struggle with life balance, and we are wired to put everyone and everything else ahead of our own needs.

I don’t want this to be divisive; to the contrary, I want to celebrate what is universal to our experience as women. With or without the motherhood moments, we are so much more.

I’m watching Vikings, and as in Lost Kingdom, the women are warriors and go to battle whilst pregnant. Is it historically accurate? I don’t know, but I do love the strong female characters in those series. I love seeing ANYONE in a non-traditional role, in life or in fiction.

Who inspires you? What reminds you that you are a woman of strength and purpose?

3 thoughts on “Not the story

  1. Who inspires me? Who reminds me of purpose? Even the little weeds in the garden tell me I’m worth it. I tell everyone I know and love, You are worth it. “Oh you came all the way down here?” You are worth it. And they look so shocked to hear this. Channon you and I had an afternoon of great words too long ago, where we agreed it takes a village to raise one human being. I may have birthed my children, but others raised them as much as I did. Thank. God. Now, I look into the old cat’s eyes and he says, take care of me, You are worth it.

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  2. I love Vikings, too, although I don’t know if I’ve watched Lost Kingdom. I don’t watch a lot of TV. I also find myself hesitant to say anything, because everyone is so touchy these days, and I’m loathe to offend anyone. Everyone’s lives are different, and so even 2 moms don’t have the same world view, but offering differing opinions seems so taboo these days. And the covid keeping me home and isolated doesn’t help. Sometimes I just escape to visit one of my kids or Gaylen for the change of scenery.

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  3. My mom, at 89, is waiting for the pandemic to pass so she can go back to volunteering at an elementary school in a low-income area that could use all the good teachers they can get. They assign her a kid who’s struggling, and then she gets to tutor them one-on-one, care about them, believe in them, and see them learning to believe they *can* do this, be it reading or math or whatever. She gets to be their cheerleader and she gets to see them succeed.

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